UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
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You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield 
Hosted by: HostRocket.Com Comments by: YACCS PRAISE & REVIEWS "[UD] is a genius." --Christian Oates "[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not." --Tricia Howey MOTTO egeo huic vigorum MY WRESTLING NAME Titan Gently MY PUNK NAME Razor Ection 
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Wednesday, June 19, 2002
Do you know this cereal ad? The setting is a suburban mall. A piece of Shredded Wheat is taking a survey. He stops a middle-class shopper in her early thirties:
---- WHEAT: Excuse me, ma'am. . . . LADY: Yes? WHEAT: True or false: "I enjoy frosting in the morning." LADY: True! (more stuff happens, etc.) ---- And that's when all the holes in my head start gushing blood. I have no problem with anthropomorphic foodstuffs; they're pretty standard ad fare, and if I started questioning them. . . well, the universe might just cease to exist, I guess. So you can have your talking wheat chunks. What absolutely flips my shit out is that this mall lady DOESN'T EVEN THINK TWICE before saying that yes, she loooooves to eat frosting for breakfast. FROSTING! Glarrgle! This is a fit, slender, woman with a semitrendy hairdo and maybe even some capri pants. Frosting is sugar and Crisco. You don't eat frosting for breakfast, lady -- no one does. NOBODY EATS FROSTING FOR BREAKFAST! It is vital to my sanity that this one thing be true. Nobody, except maybe trailer-dwelling unemployed potheads -- but they're not even awake in the morning. So how can this wheat and lady team pretend that frosting for breakfast is normal? Instead of what it is, which is a sign of a SERIOUS EATING DISORDER. Frosting? For breakfast? Jesus fucking Christ's BALLS. 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store 
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |