UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

feed it up! | UD email


You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:



PAGES UD MADE:

My Books Page

My Reviews Page

My Reference Page

My Music Page

My Pictures

My Store



UD-RELATED PAGES:

My LiveJournal

My MySpace music page

My Flickr page

My del.icio.us page

My Last.fm page

My Amazon Wishlist




HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



Powered by Blogger

Oh fuck yeah.

This is my Google PageRankā„¢ - SmE Rank free service Powered by Scriptme


Hosted by:
HostRocket.Com

Comments by:
YACCS

  SITE STATS



PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



Look the fuck out! It's claude le monde!



WHO LINKS TO UD?

from Technorati
from Google
from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Monday, June 03, 2002
 
Girls, take it from me when I tell you that dating rock stars is HARD. I've been doing it for years, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder, "What kind of rock star mess have I gotten myself into now?" Take my brief fling with Liam Gallagher. I spent countless hours wrestling empty bottles of Jack Daniels from the vice-like grip he maintained even after the liquor had lulled him into a comatose slumber, and I endured endless coke binges (my own, not his) in order to stay awake on the nights he spent rambling on and on about nothing in unintelligible, low class British speak. When I had finally had enough of his stories about nights spent "pissed" starting "rows" and getting "nicked," I left Liam behind for a better life with Elliott Smith. But things hardly improved. Rock stars are sad, empty people; Elliott was so miserable that I considered slitting his wrists myself. When I realized that he had simply replaced heroin with me, an addiction so potent I feared he'd never shake it, I decided to break the cycle myself by simply disappearing without a trace. I've heard rumors that he still asks about me, and the moments when he regales old mutual friends with stories from our shared past are some of the few times he smiles. More recently, I've been dating "Howlin'" Pelle Almqvist, and I'd have to say this is the happiest I've been in years. He does for me what Iggy and Richard (Ashcroft) never could, which is simply love me for me. Perhaps it's the Swedish breeding, but Pelle has a certain softness about him that I've never found in men from this side of the pond. We've gotten quite serious, Pelle and I, and in the quiet moments after we've just made love and the shadows are making slow trails across the ceiling, I know that my latest rock star mess (and possibly my last -- I hear from friends who can't keep a secret that Mr. Almqvist has been covertly shopping around town for rings. Sorry Pelle! I promise to pretend to be surprised.) isn't a mess at all. It's a little something Pelle and I call true love.

0 comments




OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha




You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)


Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store








MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans