UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

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We can ill afford
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My Reference Page

My Music Page

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

My LiveJournal

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My Last.fm page

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HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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WHO LINKS TO UD?

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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Wednesday, June 05, 2002
 
I don't live in a tropical rain forest, nor do I live in a garbage-filled, third-world hellpit. So I think it's only fair to ask that I don't have to have GIANT FUCKING FLYING COCKROACHES invading my apartment. We were watching The Mothman Prophecies when the hideous rattling monster flew in our front window, as if the movie weren't spooky enough without a thematically appropriate 3-D visual aid.
      Almost nothing scares me -- not snakes, spiders, airplanes, heights, "bad" neighborhoods, or even anthrax. But cockroaches are the stars of my own personal Carnival of Terror. I can't even look at this link without wanting to die. It is, like most phobias, irrational. I know that they cannot harm me. But I was just starting to get over my fear when somehow. . . THEY LEARNED TO FLY?!!? THE FUCK?
      Turns out that PW is as freaked as I am by the creatures, so we teleported into different rooms and listened as our heroic third roommate did battle with the kraken. It was ominous; loud smashing noises and curses interspersed with long peroids of silence. At one point we heard a report: "I think he's wounded!" Ugh. Should killing a bug really be a multi-step process? It took about half an hour before he was able to lure it outside and drop an anvil on it, or something. Or maybe he bribed it to leave us alone and bother the neighbors instead. I don't really want to know. All I know is that I am never going to eat food in the house or leave the windows open again. Ever.

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Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha




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Buy it already. ($4)


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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans