UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
Hosted by: HostRocket.Com Comments by: YACCS SITE STATS PRAISE & REVIEWS "[UD] is a genius." --Christian Oates "[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not." --Tricia Howey MOTTO egeo huic vigorum MY WRESTLING NAME Titan Gently MY PUNK NAME Razor Ection
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Tuesday, June 04, 2002
I played my very first live musical show last night as my cowboy alter ego, Tex. After years of people taking potshots at me, calling me lazy, dumb, or just plain scairt (Texan for "scared"), I proved 'em all wrong with one strum of my mighty guitar. The accolades rained down like so much radioactive fallout. "You must play again!" came the squeals of delight. "Ooh sexy boy," cried one passionate lass, "more, more!" One fan just babbled incoherently and spat drool on my cowboy shirt.
This is how it starts, people -- The juggernaut of fame. Steamrolling towards me as surely as cancer. First, the shows. Then the reviews, and the true fans. Then the tentative deals. Then the loss of the sense of humor. Then the contracts, money, and hangers-on. Then the ex-wives, drugs, depressions, and bankruptcies. Then the shitty comeback tour. Ugh. I've seen enough episodes of "VH1: Behind the Music" to have learned these 3 cardinal facts about fame and money: 1. Getting famous does not make people happy. 2. Getting rich does not make people happy. 3. In fact, both seem guaranteed to make people rather miserable. So forget it! Those of you who saw me play last night, cherish and coddle your memories like wounded squirrels! Scribble your impressions and sell them to Rolling Stone! Tell your grandchildren! Because I will never be sucked into your terrible trap of fame! Fuck off! Fuck you! Let go of my shirt! 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |