UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

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My Reference Page

My Music Page

My Pictures

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

My LiveJournal

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My Last.fm page

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HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
 
What is Ozzy without Sharon? Nothing. It's clear that Sharon has been running the show for years. Sure, Ozzy is the "talent," and without him there wouldn't be a show at all. But without Sharon, Ozzy would have disappeared twenty years ago. You see, Sharon is the Emperor Palpatine to Ozzy's Darth Vader. Ozzy can't organize a full sentence, much less a giant music festival. He goes along with the gag, thinking he's the boss. But he's so not the boss. So, um, Sharon is also the Angela to Ozzy's Tony. See?
     But Ozzy's getting old and his faculties are in precipitous decline. The Emperor needs a new apprentice. Cue little Kelly! Did you catch her at the MTV Movie Awards, stumbling around the stage, lip-synching to her heavily vocoded vocals, trying like hell to sex up the mic stand? Oh it was weird. Sweet Kelly. Save yourself before it's too late. Your mom will ride you until you're bloody, forcing diet pills down your throat to treat your "issues," as they say. You want to be on backpacks and lunchboxes? Want a video directed by Gregory Dark? Want to end up just like Daddy? You will. Your mom will squeeze every possible dollar out of your bulbous little bod, and when the public's attention wanders, she'll hustle Jack to a makeover and forget you were even born. You poor, poor, poor, rich little girl.

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans