UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:



PAGES UD MADE:

My Books Page

My Reviews Page

My Reference Page

My Music Page

My Pictures

My Store



UD-RELATED PAGES:

My LiveJournal

My MySpace music page

My Flickr page

My del.icio.us page

My Last.fm page

My Amazon Wishlist




HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



Look the fuck out! It's claude le monde!



WHO LINKS TO UD?

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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Friday, July 26, 2002
 
Hey-- having trouble hearing the schmuck on the other end of your cell phone call? Why don't you try shouting? Or maybe your friend is loud in your ear, really loud, so loud I can hear the stupidity dribbling out of his face-hole? Why don't you try SHOUTING AT YOUR CELL PHONE A LITTLE MORE? Yeah, you're awesome. I love you so much, babe, don't ever change.
     Also, whenever we rent a DVD, the sound is so badly mixed that we have to ride the volume button the whole fucking time. I'm thinking of attaching a goddamn compressor to the system, and how retarded is that? Maybe it's the PS2. Maybe a real DVD player doesn't have this problem? If I'd known that I never would have bought this stupid thing because if I have to watch one more second of HRT running down pedestrians in GTA3 I'm gonna seriously pee on the stupid box.
     Also, I have a question about those secret hideouts that evil criminal masterminds have: I understand why they want a hidden island fortress. And I understand that it's gotta have cool hidden landing pads and giant vault-like doors and shit. But where do you find the contractors for that kind of work? Can you imagine how much work it must take to dig a complex into the side of a mountain? How are you gonna keep that a secret? The way contruction workers talk, good luck. Oh wait, I guess you could just kill them once they're done. Or zombify them and make them into your evil army or something.
     Also, how do you coat a man's bones with metal?
     Also, WILL YOU TURN OFF THE GODDAMN AIR CONDITIONER WHEN IT'S 65 DEGREES OUTSIDE? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? ARE YOU MADE OF LAVA?

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OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha




You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)


Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store








MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans