Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Look out your window, lucky New Yorkers, and what do you see? If it's daytime, then you probably see pigeons, pollutants, and suicidal portfolio managers plummeting to well-deserved deaths. But! If it's nighttime in the city, you can feast your eyes on the biggest floating bacchanal since the fall of Rome. Look! Across the street, the Porn Addict is at it again, flogging his dick raw despite the Sam's Club tub of moisturizer. Over to the left, the Young Lovers over can't seem to get enough of each other. What the hell is Mr. Suitcases doing with those suitcases, anyway? It's a mystery, all right, and as soon as this cast comes off, I'm gonna see what he buried in the courtyard flowerbed.
     You've watched; we've all watched. When the infomercials come on, who among us doesn't head for the strategically placed pair of binoculars next to the best window? But New York City is a peer-to-peer voyeurism network. Do you understand how p2p works? It means you can't just download, people. You must UPLOAD. About to snort coke off a hooker's ass? Throw open the blinds! Just got out of the shower, need to apply lotion to your entire body? Don't be shy, stand by the window, take your time! Masturbation does not have to be the solitary act of a lonely loser when there are at least a hundred people who can see right into your goddamn window. Time for your fix, oh junkie across the way? Let your neighbors see how the other half lives, turn on a light for once!
     Don't worry about being recognized on the street -- the unwritten voyeur rule demands that what we see in your bedroom stays in your bedroom. Or kitchen, whatever. Clean the windows, take off your clothes, and burn the curtains! It's fucking Independence Day! Share the goddamn wealth, you hideous zombie freaks! BRAAAAIIIINNNNNS!!!!
posted by Universal Donor 8:59 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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