UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

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We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:



PAGES UD MADE:

My Books Page

My Reviews Page

My Reference Page

My Music Page

My Pictures

My Store



UD-RELATED PAGES:

My LiveJournal

My MySpace music page

My Flickr page

My del.icio.us page

My Last.fm page

My Amazon Wishlist




HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
 
Someone asked me what I thought about aliens, specifically space aliens. Like most intelligent people, I have a grasp of how big the universe is. How big is the universe? Infinitely bigger than I can actually imagine. Ok. So according to my calculations, there are other living things in the universe. The problem with most people you see arguing for the existence of extraterrestrial life is that they seem to have been raised on a diet of paint chips and benzene. They talk about their theories, experiences, and abductions, and if you believe in aliens, you can't help but feel stupid by association.
     But come on now. The reason aliens seem so unlikely to most people is that in movies and on TV:
- they always look like taller, smoother humans;
- they all speak english;
- they are either murderous or benevolent;
- they abduct and probe people, but only Americans.
Which is all artistic shorthand, alien-as-metaphor bullshit. Just forget everything you think you know about aliens, and start over. You could be inhaling aliens right now; the Earth could be coated with a fine layer of aliens! Maybe cancerous tumors are made of aliens! Who knows? We don't, but let's keep an open mind and STOP LOOKING FOR BIG-TITTED ALIENS TO FUCK.

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OTHER REVIEWS:
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LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha




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Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)


Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans