UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
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Friday, August 23, 2002
A hipster couple got on my F train this morning. The girl was cute: a straw-haired blond with lazy posture and pale, sickly skin -- my favorite. She looked like she might have had TB or something, which is totally sexy. But from the second they stepped into the car at Carroll Street, the boyfriend was acting all weird. He was shorter than the girl, a slim asian hipster dude with ironically thick-framed glasses. So maybe he's got some kinda complex about his girl being too cute for him, because he had to touch her waist or envelop her in his arms the whole ride. I cannot stand dudes who feel the need to Stake Their Claim for the whole freaking world to see, like THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND LOOK BUT DON'T TOUCH, AND ACTUALLY DON'T LOOK EITHER! SHE'S MINE! Jeez, insecure much? Look, for some reason she decided to sleep with your lame ass; the least you can do is not embarrass her on the train by pawing her like a dog with a gravy bone.
So of course I made a point of giving her sexing looks until the dude got off the train, holding eye contact with her until her wimpy boychild felt the need to position his midgety body between us. It was pathetic. When he got off the train, she walked over and took the empty seat next to mine, rubbing her bare upper arm against mine until 42nd Street. 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |