UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
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You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield 
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Friday, August 02, 2002
I woke up this morning to that Vanessa Carlton song, the one where she rides around the highway while having sex with her piano. (Something about the song is insidiously appealing, so even though she "writes her own music," I bet it was produced by Swedes.) Now, I love melodic pop like zombies love hot brains, but this vocoder trend is getting out of hand.
In case you don't know, the vocoder is the device Cher used in that song "Believe" that made her sound all robotic. Producers use it to nudge vocals into place when the singer is off-key. And now I can hear it in almost every song on the Top 40. Obviously, Vanessa Carlton ruined her voice by sucking too many record executives' cocks, because the whole song sounds like that voice on my iMac that says "Ah-lert! You have been disconneck-ted" -- which is fine, aesthetically! I love talking robots, singing robots, whatever. I love robots. But if we keep broadcasting radio waves into space that make it sound like earth is wholly populated by cute, cum-guzzling robot girls, it's only going to attract the worst kind of evil alien robot invaders. Before record execs give contracts to singers, they should at least make them HUM A FEW BARS to see if they can SING, instead of just trolling the bus stations for hot runaways, mumbling "we'll take care of it in the mix!" under their breath. 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store 
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |