UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
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Tuesday, August 27, 2002
I've noticed lately that not only do the tasteless outnumber those with taste by a five-to-one ratio, but they also seem to be recruiting at a rapid -- if not alarming -- rate. The number of times each day my eyes are assaulted by women who haven't missed any meals nor any opportunity to squeeze into jeans so tight I can see the outlines of their cesarean scars and cut so short I can very nearly see what they had for breakfast is too numerous, and painful, to recall. Men -- full grown men -- wearing pants so large they seem as if they might gobble up the wearer? Check. We've got plenty of those on the shelves and more in the stockroom. Morons who paste pictures of Calvin (of "and Hobbes" fame) pissing on the word "USAMA" or "NO FEAR" stickers on their car windows? These are idiots who have somehow made it past the borders of their villages. They are the same types who believe gold necklaces never go out of style and schools were specifically set up to make guys like them feel stupid. How did so many people develop the same kinds of bad taste? From what common lineage spring those with fur-covered wet bars in their homes, pictures of themselves with their backlit faces depicted as if floating in brandy snifters, and plastic lining their carpets so they can quickly and easily clean up the droplets of Tab, Coors and amniotic fluid they frequently spill? These people, ironically, don't realize their use of the word "classy" in reference to anything instantly ensures that it is not and neither are they. If it were up to me, I'd send them all off to their own little island where they could not read and not understand complex sentences to their hearts' content without bothering the rest of us.
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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |