Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I defend the subway against slander as vehemently as I defend our tap water. But does the subway care about its champion? No. Instead it chooses to test me.
     It was all downhill last night from the moment I watched the 6 train cruise into the 33rd Street station at 12:37am as I frantically jabbed my credit card into the slot of the beautifully designed but also apparently illiterate Metrocard vending machine what do you mean "Do you want to try again?" OF COURSE I WANT TO TRY AGAIN OH JESUS THERE GOES THE FUCKSUCK TRAIN and then I was like hey, what's that guy in that booth all about? So I slit my wrists with my expired card and blood sloshed into the tray as I bought a token.
     Apparently it was ladies' night on the Lexington line, and like all ladies' nights everywhere it pretty much involved ladies being drunk and stumbly and lost and etcetera. Three Irish students asked if I could recommend "annythin' foon ta doo in Flooshing, Quains?" I told them that I had heard it was fun to eat a dick in Flushing.
     A girl with a rolling airplane carry-on bag -- but no other luggage -- bizarrely demanded that I quiz her on her New York knowledge, and when she failed to name the ingredients of an egg cream, she narrowed her eyes and asked me if I was getting off at Astor Place. Like I was some kind of NYU Student. I told her that her airplane bag made her ass look fat. And that her face made her head look stupid. She got off at Astor Place.
     Then there was the chick who had just won a milk-chugging contest, who insisted that her record of a gallon in 2.5 minutes was untarnished by the fact that SHE WAS ALLOWED TO VOMIT DURING THE COMPETITION like what kind of bullshit is that? Was it being judged by schoolchildren? Well, anyway, her outfit was quite festive, with decorative, fragrant spots of many colors.
     The cherry on the sundae of my 2+ hrs subway ride was a series of highly creative service changes, which I think were actually stolen from a KGB torture manual designed to crush the will of Rambo. My fellow passengers brought the art of freestyle marathon swearing to a new heights, but I let it all wash over me like a soothing river of rat urine, because I love me my subway.
posted by Universal Donor 2:40 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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