UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
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Monday, September 02, 2002
I don't like boys. This is a fact -- overgeneralized, maybe, but essentially, reliably, demonstrably true. I like girls. I get along with them, relate to them, understand them, know them. Boys? Not so much. The reasons aren't really worth exploring outside my shrink's office, and probably involve my relationship with my father. But the fact remains: I don't like boys.
The sun rises in the east; the postman always rings twice; I don't like boys. There are exceptions, but not many. College yielded only 3 male friends who still matter to me. I really like my former boss. And. . . um. . . that's about it. I don't like boys, but this property is not commutative; boys like me just fine. At least until they figure out that I don't like them. But they still like me fine. Which is no surprise, because everybody likes me. I don't like boys. It's such a defining characteristic that they should print it on my driver's license next to my eye color and height. it's something that most of my good friends (that's you, girls) should already understand about me. So why do you keep trying to tell me I'm gonna like your new boyfriend? You list your boyfriend's good qualities, in the order you think I'll appreciate: "He's smart, funny, creative, tall, and ooh ooh, he loooves Starship Troopers too!" Whoop-dee-shit. The phrase "I think you'd really like him" is pretty much a guarantee that I'll hate his guts instead of just being indifferent. Give it a rest already. I don't like boys. Get the picture? 0 comments |
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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |