UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

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HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Thursday, September 26, 2002
 
I think some small gangsters approached my immune system and gave it some cash to "look the other way" if any diseases, viruses, or bacteria decided to "stop by" my body for a while, because I've been feeling like warm feces for weeks. Despite a constant infusion of various syrups, pills, pills, and pills, I can feel the sickness bedding down for the winter like some goddamn overstuffed grizzly.
     My nice parents took me to one of the last Yankee games of the regular season, but neglected to warn me that they were SWARMING WITH GERMS. (My parents, I mean -- not the Yankees.) Thanks a heap, mom. What seemed a nice gesture was quickly transformed into a hideous carnival of leering microorganisms. See, when I get a little hyperaware of germs, any infected surface glows like jizz under one of those special UV jizz-lamps that coroners love so much. Life becomes a game of "don't touch anything or you die," which is real fun for about 5 minutes but then all your muscles seize up with panic and next thing you know you've passed out because you were holding your breath (so's not to breathe any floating toxins) and then they're taking you to the hospital -- which lemme tell you is just lousy with sick people -- and then you're dead and the coroner is shining his jizz lamp all up and down your business and then you're in a grave and then you climb out of the grave and start searching for live brains just to EASE THE PAIN OF BEING DEAD. BRAINS.

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans