Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  So now it's happening, the thing that's supposed to happen when you're surrounded by talented (or at least creative) folks: people I know are getting famous. Not REALLY famous, but the kind of famous where they get their pictures out of the free tabloids and into the glossies. My generation is hitting its stride, I guess, and my peers are no longer responsibility-shirking fuckups -- they're "visionaries" or "up-and-comers" or whatever the fuck.
     I'm mostly reacting to the New York Magazine cover story on the New York Rock scene, and how it's curing more cancer than Amazonian plant life. NYR kills monsters. NYR patches the ozone hole and strangles CEOs with the intestines of other strangled CEOs. (Incidentally, another friend of mine is an assistant editor at New York. What the fuck?)
     I hate it. Can all these people really be great musicians? Is this really a renaissance of a foggily remembered early 80's downtown scene? OR DO THESE MAGAZINES JUST NEED COLORFUL FILLER? I am obviously torn. I do not want to be famous. I do not want to be famous. I do not want to be famous. Breathe. Deep breaths. You don't think I could be famous? Ha. Listen to this AND THEN GET BACK TO ME. It fucking rocks. But I don't care. I do not want to be famous. I do not want to be famous. I don't want to go to parties and pretend I care. I don't want even easier access to drugs; it's practically RAINING drugs in this town already. I don't want a record contract. I don't want a band. I don't want to play "shows" with other people. I don't want more money than I already have. I don't want fake friends and I don't want people writing about me like I'm the Great Dumb Hope and then dropping me two months later when some other yutz with dirty hair and nicotine fingertips catches their fancy.
     I am happy for my famous (for now) friends. But will their lives be better? Does fame help you sleep at night? Does fame drive away your crippling depression? Does fame keep the undead from rising from the grave to eat the flesh of the living? No, no, no, and NO.
posted by Universal Donor 1:56 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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