UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

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HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Thursday, September 19, 2002
 
Survivor's 5th season begins today. Everyone is from Texas, and none of the men is gay -- (or if they are, they haven't told their wives). There are, however, a NYPD officer and a Firewoman from Bumblefuck, Arkansas. Damn sentimental garbage. I used to be really geeked-out about the show, explaining the solid game theory to people who instinctively mocked me when I voiced my enthusiasm. But it's hard to get too psyched when they consistently line up the MOST RETARDED, UNINTERESTING MORONS ON THE PLANET and make a show out of their spats and underwhelming minibetrayals. Shut up, I know what you're going to say about reality shows. But seriously, the game design -- oh, never mind.
     There has only been one Jew on the show ever (Ethan Zohn, season 3) and this year's crop is waspier than a dumpster behind a sugar refinery. Jews still seem reluctant to embarrass themselves on national television, and for that I am proud. On the other hand, these bleached-out trailer park jizz-jars seem to feel some kind of patriotic duty to flash their tits to the world for a string of plastic baubles and chance to appear on a Girls Gone Wild video -- literally and metaphorically speaking.
     Check out these quotes from the Survivor 5 promo:
     ERIN: What's the wildest thing I've ever done? (pause as she thinks so hard that her eyes visibly unfocus) Um. . . being an exhibitionist!
     TED: I plan to use a combination of physical skill. . . and mental skill.
      Ha. I hope this season is a good for at least a few laughs.

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One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha




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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans