Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Dearest _____,
     My new pants are awfully sexy, and as long as I wear them, my life bristles with possibility. Their cuffs break on my Adidas like they were hemmed by God, and I've always looked nice in brown. My hair is dirty, my legs are long; my voice is deep and I sing like an angel. Strap a guitar on my back and I could wander through the Williamsburgs of America, bringing unironic tears to the eyes of all the scenester chixx, a panorama of glistening malnourished eyebags shining out from under assymetrical hairdos -- I can already feel the humidity rising in the particulate air of a thousand shitty barrooms. Is that not my duty? Don't I owe this much to the world?
     Perhaps, my dove, but I'd rather spend a year in a Nebraska motel with no one but you, sitting in lawn chairs in the parking lot and singing our songs to the Big Sky. Our booth at the local Denny's would conform to our softening asses after a few short weeks, I know it, and the waitresses would call us "Hon." After we smash the TV we can use its shell to hold beers.
     What do people do all day when there is nothing to do? We can find the answer, one day at a time, holding each other close and doing our laundry in the tub. We don't owe the world a thing until the world comes to collect. Talent, unlike kindergarten, comes with no requirement to share -- they cannot legislate largesse. If I wrote every song for you, gyroscopes would still spin and fire would still burn. Just give me permission, and give it with a kiss.
     Our cities are hollowing us out, and soon we will be nothing but bitter chocolate bunnies. I'm filthy, tired, and sad, and I'm happier than I ever deserved to be. Bring the car around, darling, and let's take a powder to a place where our accents are funny. The eyes of my hipster congregation must remain dry, o my love, because I cannot bring myself to preach.
posted by Universal Donor 10:00 AM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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