Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I used to worry about what to wear for Halloween. I was never a very good planner, and I'm not the type to invest a lot of money in something I'll only wear once. As a result, my costumes have always been hurried, slapdash affairs involving a lot of random objects drafted into service as accessories ("Hmm, I guess I could duct tape that tuning fork to this old motorcylce helmet and call myself a lunatic"). I had a big pink muu-muu that was always acceptable for costume parties, but I hated shaving my legs. Bitches be crazy.
     Oh man do I hate when people use current events as a source of costume ideas. I met a dude named Chad who stuffed a pillow in his shirt and called himself -- get it? -- a pregnant chad. Glarrgle! Later that night, we turned him into a bleeding from the head, neck and ass chad. It was a great improvement. But I know there are gonna be sniper-related costumes involving crosshairs or laser pointers or Home Depot bags, and I know the people wearing them will be the worst kind of people. Therefore it will be okay to cut them a little bit. Who's with me?
     A few years ago, Zorgot told me I should dress as a bee, because I'd never want to be anything else again. Dude. He was right. I wrap a yellow t-shirt in 2 inch electrical tape, add cheap antennae and maybe some fairy wings and I'm ready.
     The genius part of the bee costume is manifold. Everybody knows what you are, so you don't have to explain yourself to idiots. (Oh -- if you like wearing complicated, "clever" costumes that require explanation, you need to take that expectant grin out of my face and eat a hot cup of dick.) You can add anything to a basic bee costume without undermining your essential bee-ness; you can tack on any modifier (dead bee, french maid bee, astronaut bee, dog bee, bleeding from head/neck/ass bee) and nodoby will look at you funny. Also, if somebody else comes to the party as a bee, that rocks! If ten bees came it would rock even harder. If the world was bees, it might be the best halloween ever.
posted by Universal Donor 3:49 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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