UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Thursday, October 17, 2002
 
I watched Insomnia last night right before going to bed, which obviously is a STUPID thing to do. I suffer from nasty insomnia already, and there's nothing like a tense thriller about a totally sleepless Pacino in a nightless Alaska backwater to flip my "don't sleep ever" switch. (My grammar is going to deteriorate here because I'm operating on 5 hours of sleep (which seems to be enough for some hobo-blowers I know (I'm talking about Pussy Willow here (she doesn't sleep much (and she sucks the cocks of transients)))).)
     Folks, I'm tired. I am sooo glad that our sun rises and sets on a sensible schedule, because I need dark to sleep and light to rise -- I'm like the opposite of a vampire in that regard.
     A West Wing character made some crack about the high suicide rate in Scandinavia, and I guess that has something to do with the sun, too. Or the drinking all the time. Or the fish-fucking.
     (An aside here: a couple of lines ago I typed "suicide rape" by mistake. That's a weird idea, suicide rape. I can't really decide how it would work. But can you imagine if that catches on as a new terrorist crime? It sounds really awful. Don't tell anyone about it; it's gross.)
     ANYway if I want to sleep well, there are simple rules I should follow: I should not watch movies about insomnia before bedtime. I should not drink coffee after 8pm. I should not drink so much tequila that I get a hangover before I even fall asleep. I should not eat after midnight, unless I'm eating sleeping pills. I should stop rubbing crystal methamphetamine on my eyeballs, because: a) it keeps me up, and b) it burns like crazy.

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Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha




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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans