Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  New York readers have probably heard the self-fulfilling urban myth that the front car of the F train is for hipster "singles." Ugh, the word gives me spasmic shudders. I ride in the front car of the F train because I use the north exit of the 42nd street station -- NOT BECAUSE I'M LONELY! Just back off, ok? I'm tired, my back hurts, and my eyelashes are not completely de-crusted yet. Just let me read my awesome book and finish the agonizing swim toward consciousness.
     YES I KNOW I LOOK GOOD. Yes, the book I am reading proves I am a super smarty-pants, I'm glad you noticed, and no, I wasn't holding it up high so you could read the title, that's just how I hold books sometimes. Shut up. Yes, I know my new pants are nice, all brown and tight and all. The attention is very flattering, boys and girls. I know -- because PW told me -- that if you squint, I look like Jack White without red pants. Well, quit it! Keep squinting 'til I look like Jack Black. And then keep squinting 'til blood pours from your eyes, because I've never seen that. Then your pants will be red. Quit trying to hold meaningful eye contact with me, you pathetic loons! IT'S THE SUBWAY. Can't you just tilt your head back and read the cheap lawyer ads like a normal person? Or tilt your head forward and snooze in tilting, drooly fits?
     Quit staring at my crotch. Quit sending sex looks over the lid of your coffee cup, because I don't think coffee and sex belong together. Get your hand out of my pocket, get your hands off of my ass! Kindly remove your lips from my engorged penis before something happens that everyone on this train will regret! Am I gonna have to start smearing feces on myself to repulse people? Or something really drastic, like wearing pleated pants? Enough, enough, enough. You are not gonna meet the love of your life on the subway. Or maybe you will, but I sure as hell won't. STOP THIS FREAKING MEATWAGON AND LET ME OFF.
posted by Universal Donor 2:06 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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