Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  One of my coworkers brought in some organic donuts today. I'm not really sure what "organic" means in this instance -- maybe the eggs were laid by hippie chickens, ew -- but I do know that it's a fucking donut, and that attaching any tag to "donut" that implies "healthy" is like attaching the word "heterosexual" to Richard Simmons. Maybe they're not making any claims about the healthfulness of the donut, just the unbleached nature of the flour. But who cares? What the fuck does it matter where the ingredients came from for your SUGAR-COATED FRIED DOUGH? Like, wow, Sally, look: the peanuts in this Snickers bar are cruelty-free! These lard cakes are made from free-range pigs! GIVE ME AN ENTIRE BOX OF THEM AND ALSO A PADDLE TO SHOVE THEM DOWN MY GULLET. GLARGLE!
     If you are going to be a healthy, eat-right-and-excercise-and-sleep-well-and-don't-smoke-and-therefore-don't-get-winded-on-a-flight-of-stairs kinda asshole, that's your choice, wigga, just don't bring that shit all up in my face. Life is so awesome for you, yay! Shut up and go suck a shotgun. BUT if you have decided to be a lard-drinking beach ball, don't be coy about it. It's the American way, Bluto. Nobody's fooled when you cap your double-cheesebuger and fries order with a diet soda. What the hell is the point of a fat-free brownie? What the hell is the point of you? I'm going to chop you into cubes and shoot you into space so Earth can have a lovely set of rings just like Saturn's, except made of meat.
posted by Universal Donor 2:21 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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