Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  TEST QUESTION: Alice likes Bob. Alice calls Bob on his cell and they have a mellow chat. Bob's at work but casually suggests they hang out when he gets off. Alice is like "yeah, that's cool. I'll talk to you then." Bob's like "cool." Alice hangs up, screams like the winner of a radio call-in contest. Calls Cindy, Denise, Erica, Flo, Greta, and Helena. They are all very supportive and excited and they all help dissect the conversation to determine his intentions, desires, and feelings on child-rearing. Time passes. Alice rifles through a million outfits, touches her hair more than Howard Cosell in a hurricane. Time passes. Bob doesn't call. Time passes. It's past the time he got off work.
1. What should Alice do?
     a) Call Cindy to discuss possible causes for the delay.
     b) Call Denise to find out why Bob hates her.
     c) Call Erica and put a face cancer hex on Bob.
     d) Call Bob and make a fucking plan already.
The answer should be stabbingly obvious. But in case you're a certain kind of girl, the answer is d. Call the fucker. Do you want to hang out, or do you want to sit at home cooking up paranoid theories? PW insists that there are rules that govern boy/girl interactions; that certain things simply CANNOT be done. She looks at me like I'm bleeding from my ears if I suggest otherwise. I think she and her friends are idiots to let imaginary rules consistently hamper their enjoyment of life.
     No, yes, fuck it, this whole thing is crazy. Who are these girls? How did I end up knowing people who live like this? Do I just think rules are stupid because I'm a boy? What are the rules? What sadistic matron taught them to my friends? Quit panicking! Have a shot of booze! Eat a bowl of dick!
posted by Universal Donor 12:01 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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