Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I like to let movies take me for a ride. I can suspend my disbelief so well that I can justify even the most outlandish breaks in consistency. It takes a lot to pull me out of a movie's world, and even when directors explicitly remind me that I'm watching actors on a screen, I happily adjust my viewing framework to fit the new position. I believe every special effect like the eyewitness account of a nun.
     But if I could change one thing about movies, I would make depictions of vomiting more realistic. Know what I mean? You're watching a movie, and you're totally in it, dude, and then some character walks unsteadily to some railing and spits out a mouthful of clam chowder. Bullshit! What, are we children? We don't know what puking looks like? I'll grant that there are different kinds of puking, and that ONE of those kinds may look like a dude spitting out a mouthful of soup. But most of them look more like a brief burst of sewage from a powerful hose.
     Yes, I have thrown up a lot, so I know. My weak stomach voids itself at the first twinge of nausea -- none of this brave fight to keep food down. I learned how to throw up my senior year of college, when a girlfriend showed me how to get the spoiled chicken wings out of my body and put an abrupt end to my agony. Vomiting is an awesome tool. Actually, a more awesome tool would be some soft rubber fingers on a stick that you could use to induce vomiting in a more sanitary way. Okay, I just invented it! It's called the FingerStick! And the slogan is: "Don't feel sick -- FingerStick!" Hm. That may need some work.
      Anyway, I'm getting off track here. Special effects can do anything except make an Eddie Murphy movie good. So why can't vomit be given its due in the age of digital filmmaking? I WANT PIXELS OF ROPY HURL. This is the stupidest thing I've ever written. I should be digitally removed from your consciousness.
posted by Universal Donor 3:27 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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