UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
Hosted by: HostRocket.Com Comments by: YACCS SITE STATS PRAISE & REVIEWS "[UD] is a genius." --Christian Oates "[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not." --Tricia Howey MOTTO egeo huic vigorum MY WRESTLING NAME Titan Gently MY PUNK NAME Razor Ection
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Tuesday, November 26, 2002
If you see me walking while using my cell phone, walk directly up to me and hit me in the nuts with a bat. I won't see you coming. Haven't you always wondered how somebody could do something as stupid as stepping into an empty elevator shaft? Now I understand. With the phone at my ear, the feet are on autopilot, the eyes unfocus, and my consciousness enters "cellspace." If you want my wallet, just pluck it from my pants. Yes, my pants are tight, dude, but dig, dig! Take my dick while you're at it -- I WILL KEEP FLAPPING MY TALKHOLE. I'm Mr. fucking Magoo out there, walking on girders as they're hoisted skyward, a step away from the abyss until a plane flies by and I step onto the wing. Hitler and Cicciolina could be fucking in a blood-filled kiddie pool, and I'd stride right on by.
Ooh and don't you hate when you see those gabbing spiffed-up bitches with their frosted hair, calf boots, and wool coats? Blah de blah I have lots of money but I don't really do any work and blah ded blah my cell phone conversation is soo important that I CANNOT stop walking while I talk to you because you are my BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD! Glarrgle! I hate walk/talkers when I see them. And yet when I do it, I am completely oblivious to the possibility that other people are hating me. Because nobody hates me! Everyone loves me! I have a cell phone! 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |