UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

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HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Thursday, December 12, 2002
 
I hate hippies. My face cramps with disgust and bile rises in my throat at their approach. This could be blamed on the stink of patchouli -- which has to be the foulest smell on Earth short of decaying, shit-smeared corpses -- but I don't think it's that. I know how to hold my breath. No, I just hate hippies.
     But why do I hate hippies so much? I agree with almost everything they believe in: political consciousness and action; drug use and free love; mistrust of authority; resistance to corporate and consumer culture; rejection of mainstream notions of hygiene, fashion, morality, and use of cosmetics; support of creativity and expression and etc etc etc. So what the fuck? Why hate my natural allies?
     Punks hold the the same beliefs, and I find them almost equally repugnant. Maybe it's that I'm wary of people who come to a belief system by way of a rebellious asthetic chosen to piss off their parents, but who cares how you get to my side of the fence as long as we can hurl stones at the enemy together? Shit fuck.
     Maybe I feel that contemporary hippie culture is an utter betrayal of what it used to mean to be a hippie. Like, yeah, all those kids in home-made smocks playing hackeysack on the "quad" or whatever really "believe" all the things listed above, but at the end of the day they'd rather drool into their bongs to the tune of TERRIBLE MUSIC purchased with their dads' credit cards than think about making any sacrifices at all, like instead of putting colorful bear stickers on their cars they could STOP DRIVING THEM or maybe instead of worrying about cruelty to animals they could worry about CRUELTY TO HUMAN BEINGS like the people whose poverty made their wealth possible, or maybe they could EAT A BOWL OF FUCKING DICK because even Dr. Bronner's Pure Castile Soap won't wash away the stench of privilege that enables their superficial and temporary rejection of capitalist scumfuckery.
     Or maybe I just hate hippies because they suck. Stupid fucking hippie fucks.

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans