UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:



PAGES UD MADE:

My Books Page

My Reviews Page

My Reference Page

My Music Page

My Pictures

My Store



UD-RELATED PAGES:

My LiveJournal

My MySpace music page

My Flickr page

My del.icio.us page

My Last.fm page

My Amazon Wishlist




HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Friday, December 13, 2002
 
I'm looking forward to a transit strike, if only to break the monotony. Sure, it'd be a pain in the ass, and terrible for the economy, but the idea of hitching rides from strangers to get to work is awesome -- I love an exercise in punishing futility. I'm pro-union by nature, because that's the only right way to be, and I really don't see why the state doesn't just pay the transit workers, and unless I'm missing something, it seems like maybe the economy wouldn't be in such a fucking shambles if we hadn't given a $250 BILLION TAX REFUND TO EVERY GODDAMN OIL COMPANY IN THE COUNTRY and also maybe if we WEREN'T ABOUT TO START A WAR THAT NOBODY BUT THOSE SAME OIL COMPANIES THINK IS A GOOD IDEA. I'm just sayin'.
     I'll take the challenges as they come, cuz I'm all sanguine and shit. For example, I'm looking forward to today's crossword puzzle, which has the sexiest trio of stacked fifteens I've seen in months. I'm looking forward to elbowing slow-moving tourist shoppers out of my way until my forearms are coated in Bridge & Tunnel blood. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's Chirstmas party at a friend's house, because last year I really grasped the true meaning of mistletoe, which is that as long as there is mistletoe in the room, you have carte blanche to use your tongue to swab over-spiked punch off the tonsils of anyone who strikes your fancy. (Dude, I just wrote "strikes your fancy." How gay is that?) Last year I just kept walking up to my friends and sucking their faces without preamble. They're used to it, I guess, because 5 years ago I figured out that the same behavior will fly at New Year's even without mistletoe, and waaay before midnight. Woo hoo! Because the secret is: everybody likes kissing. This behavior will also fly at birthday parties, anniversaries, retirements, funerals, and the occasional bris. I sometimes wish I could give the whoooooole world a kiss. So I could give it my raging case of Hepatitis C!

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OTHER REVIEWS:
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LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha




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Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)


Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans