Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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feed it up! | UD email

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  My fellow Americans. I'm honored to be talking to you today about my candidacy. I'm not a "Washington insider" or "career politician" or "baby raper." I'm just a regular "Joe" like you, except about a billion times smarter and better. Seriously, from where I'm standing, you look like a bunch of idiots -- perhaps even a little retarded. You're up to your ankles in your own drool, you glassy-eyed dopes! You NEED me! Button your coat, it's freezing out here! God!
     I have never held public office, but neither have you, so don't point your fingers at me like that. Or if you must point your fingers, at least WIPE THE GODDAMN BOOGERS OFF. There's room at the podium for you, fatso, go get some signatures. Anybody? No? So it's me. Vote for me. I know things, staggering amounts of things. Do you know how to open a new CD without fingernailing that strip of plastic into a thousand miniscule shreds? I do, but I'm not telling, not till you elect me. I also know how to de-funk a kitchen sponge. I know how to talk my way out of a speeding ticket -- it's just ten little words, my friends, and if you elect me I just might tell you. Do you know why the dead rise from the grave to eat the flesh of the living? Of course not, because you're too busy jamming Twinkies in your ears to even give a fuck about zombies. Quit shoving corn dogs up your ass! Get off the couch and throw the remote out the window! Zombies give a fuck about you, and you should give a fuck about blowing their brains out. Lock and load, citizens! I propose a constitutional amendment to KICK YOUR ASS if you don't know ten ways to fuck a fish. Vote for me -- I'll make you smarter. I promise! Get off the short bus and get on mine! Free corn dogs for everyone!
posted by Universal Donor 3:25 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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