Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  New Year's Resolutions 2003: I will learn how to go to sleep without pills. I will make better databases. I will eat more vegetables, at least one serving a day. I will make three new friends (two female, one male), but serious, friend-for-life type friends. I will not correct anyone's grammar out loud, except for my stepmother, because it's her fault I do it anyway. I will have more sex, because I'll regret it when I'm older if I don't. Agh, that's gross. Will I really regret not having cheap, depressing sex with strangers? I don't think so. Scratch that. I will just concentrate on fucking your mom a little better.
     I will finish the stupid album already, because until I do I cannot write any new songs. I will finish the third issue of the goddamn zine. I will draw more comics. I will write better posts on this blog, avoiding lazy, formulaic topics. I will patrol the graveyard for evidence of undead activity, and alert the authorites if I find any. I will actually perform with live instruments and bandmates. I will resist all offers of money or recording contracts or whatever else might ruin my life. I will buy new pants. I will have sex with more groupies. Glargle! No I will not! No groupies!
     I will find doctors who have actually EXPERIENCED PAIN IN THEIR LIVES so that maybe they won't be so stingy with the Percs when my back feels like it's being massaged with a weed whacker. I will concoct better images to describe my back pain. I will actually use my vacation time instead of sitting here at my desk doing shit nobody cares about. I will go to Europe. I will have sex with European girls by the dozens. Ick! Forget it! "That was sehr gut, Helga, and I guess I'll see you never, okay? Auf Wiedersehen!" No, no, no. I will learn to say "no sex, thank you" in every language. I will go to the park more often. I will bake more pies.
     I won't take cabs everywhere. I won't eat that extra cookie. I will do some yoga. I won't bitch about my back pain as much. I will kiss more people, just for the hell of it. I will experiment with focused flirting, instead of my typical generalized omniflirting, which just confuses people. Except that if I flirt with one person, they may get the impression that I'm going to fuck them, which, um... oh, I don't know. Maybe I will. Are they smart, cute, talented, and not utterly insane? I'll think about it.
     I will remember to pay my bills before I have worse credit than post-war Germany. I will water the plants. I will kill zombies without mercy or hesitation. I will spend less money on stupid shit. I will tell you that I love you all, which I do. I will let my love shine like a sun. Let's fuck!
posted by Universal Donor 4:10 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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