UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
Hosted by: HostRocket.Com Comments by: YACCS SITE STATS PRAISE & REVIEWS "[UD] is a genius." --Christian Oates "[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not." --Tricia Howey MOTTO egeo huic vigorum MY WRESTLING NAME Titan Gently MY PUNK NAME Razor Ection
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Wednesday, January 08, 2003
I saw Steve Buscemi on the subway this morning and he looked really twitchy, like he was in constant fear of encountering one of his own characters in the flesh. To put him at ease, I stepped playfully on his toes a couple of times, but instead of returning my mischievous gaze, he maced my fucking eyes. That hurt, but my shaggy hipster bangs managed to block a lot of the spray. So this goddamn hairdo is good for something other than attracting droves of women!
Speaking of irresistable studmonsters: if you haven't seen Goldfinger in a while, go rent it. Look for the scene where Bond puts on his fancy suit on Goldfinger's private jet, and look at his crotch. You can totally see Connery's dick hanging down his left pant leg. In fact, for the next ten scenes or so, it's all about cock. I never noticed this phenomenon when I was younger, but one gets the impression that Pussy Galore did, because next thing you know, they're totally having sex in a barn. James Bond's suit must be coated with space-age polymers, because he never lets steaming piles of horse feces come between him and a fuckable henchwoman. It is obvious that he is a pathological sex addict in need of medical help. Like, I know that saving the world from Christopher Walken and Robert Davi can be stressful, but could you go for like five minutes without putting your dick in a henchwoman? Especially on the taxpayers' dime? And hey, isn't a visible dick-bulge the male equivalent of cameltoe, and therefore an embarrassing fashion no-no? WHAT'S UP, JAMES? 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |