Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I was really good at dodgeball when I was a kid. I only mention this because in every other physical activity, I was a useless spastic weakling. I've never been fast, strong, or capable, but when it was time to play dodgeball I became a god among giants, because I possessed three qualities: eerily quick reflexes, a preturnatural awareness of my surroundings, and an overwhelming desire not to get hit with flying objects. I could sense a playground ball soaring toward my bowl-cutted head and instinctively, like, pluck it from the air, making my assailant look pretty stupid. My elementary school gym teacher favored a free-form incarnation of the game called "Turbo Dodgeball," wherein everyone ran frantically around the gym trying to annihilate everyone else -- no teams, no jails, no obstructions. Just me and all the other little fuckwads. And I was the king of the fuckwads.
     I only mention this because I was so lame and despised in every other regard. And I'm not just trying to jump on the late-'90s hipster "I was unpopular as a child" bandwagon. Remember when famous people started coming out of the woodwork to claim aggrieved status as schoolyard victims? I believe that Noam Chomsky and Billy Corgan suffered at the hands of bullies, but when obvious football player/cheerleader types started complaining I got a little fed up. I know that in high school I was well-liked and visible; the fawning inscriptions in my yearbook from people I can barely remember attest to that. But in elementary school I really was a reject -- the kind of kid who's always trying to show you a magic trick, or trying to juggle three unwieldy objects. If I had gone to any school other than that feel-good pinko playpen, I would have been yard meat. But man. I could play dodgeball.
     And now I am totally awesome.
posted by Universal Donor 4:29 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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