Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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Comments by:
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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  A light dusting of snow falls on New York and the city behaves like it's the goddamn Blitzkrieg. Better lay in some supplies, bro, because I heard we could get FIVE INCHES, two of which may actually stick! Get ready to dig out! Holy God Fuck Shit!
     What a bunch of pansy bullshit! New Yorkers clearly have no idea what life is like in other parts of the world. There are places that are covered with snow all year round and there are places with zero annual rainfall that are also really fucking hot all the time. I have seen these places on TV -- they put the "hole" in "hellhole," and I swear that the entire ecosystem of the tropics is designed to digest visiting city folk. Sometimes I wish I had been in Vietnam so that I could tell everybody who ever complains that whatever they're bitching about "ain't nuthin' compared to what me and my buddies saw every day back in 'Nam, you sissy-nancy freak! We had to eat bugs out of hollowed-out babies! And that was in Basic Training! Aaargh! BLAM BLAM BLAM!"
     New Yorkers have a completely undeserved reputation for toughness, maybe based on the old-fashioned idea that only armor-plated robot-people can live in a place with no trees or oxygen. But it's just not true. We're nothing without our protective shell of concrete and garbage. Street smarts may teach us how to not get hit by bike messengers, but good luck using the same skills to avoid pungee pits or zombie leopards -- which are EVERYWHERE in the damn tropics. You should just stay at the airport and find a magazine to fuck. Only the ugliest and toughest creatures can survive in the jungle, which is why there are no kittens or prep schools in the Amazon.
     But according to Animal Planet's "Future is Wild," the future is not bleak -- just freaky. In 200 Million years (says a "scientist") New York City will be inhabited by giant clackety beetles with chainsaws for arms, and the giant acid ocean will be filled with telekinetic "sharkopaths" that menace the combination plant/animals ("planimals") that are the dominant creatures of tomorrow. So we've got that to look forward to. Man, those Animal Planet people are bonkers. That show should have been called "Speculative Scientist is High On Many Different Drugs."
posted by Universal Donor 3:06 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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