UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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to me! And that number
is:



PAGES UD MADE:

My Books Page

My Reviews Page

My Reference Page

My Music Page

My Pictures

My Store



UD-RELATED PAGES:

My LiveJournal

My MySpace music page

My Flickr page

My del.icio.us page

My Last.fm page

My Amazon Wishlist




HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



Look the fuck out! It's claude le monde!



WHO LINKS TO UD?

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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Wednesday, February 05, 2003
 
I'm sorry about the hiatus, but it's hard to recover from the February blues. Are you with me? Everything's going fine, and then bam -- February 1 and you're like, "aw shit! Life sucks, dude." Plus I found out on Monday that the British royal family are not actually human, but an ancient clan of shape-shifting reptiles bent on world domination. So there's that, too.
     I got some glasses for long distance vision, and my co-worker said "You look like a college student! Like a sixteen-year-old!" I pointed out that except for Doogie Howser, sixteen-year-olds don't usually go to college. She told me to shut up and take a compliment. But I can't take a compliment. Not when the reptiles are planning to kill our babies for food in service of their extraterrestrial masters.
     It makes me so sleepy. Yesterday, I took a nap on the subway to work, a nap in an empty office for lunch, a nap on the subway home, and a nap when I got home. I like it when I can sleep that much, because normally the insomnia prevents me from sleeping more than seven hours a day. I don't want to get old. Old people hardly sleep at all, but they have nothing to do. Can you imagine a crueller fate? JUST LET ME SLEEP. I don't want to get up, but here it is, 6am, and I cannot close my eyes again. Where are my meds? Where's my nurse? Wheel me out to the day-porch, Margaret! I wish to see the sun rise over my soft-boiled egg! Where are my slippers? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?

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OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha




You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)


Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store








MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans