Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Now I know what the Pavement album title "Terror Twilight" means. All around people are gettin' fidgety. New Yorkers are slow to scare, mostly because we're so used to messengers appearing out of nowhere at Mach 10 that our fight/flight reflexes have been hopelessly dulled. Seriously, so many things are hurtling towards you, making head-mashing noise, farting out fumes that cause instantaneous face cancer, that we are simultaneously prepared for anything and prepared for nothing. On one hand, we all got back to work pretty much immediately after 9/11 (or as I like to pronounce it, "na-na-la-la"). We were pissed and sad and everything, but we can mourn while we work, right? On the other hand, I'm sure you saw footage of people who, while fleeing the falling towers' cloud of powdered death, were talking to their brokers on their cell phones, nonchalantly thumbing the combos on their briefcases to they could get out their designer sunglasses and shit. Useless!
     You cannot prepare for attack anymore than you can prepare for a wet dream. The whole potassium iodide (or whatever) thing is as farcical as thinking that putting your head between your legs will help you survive a plane crash. Don't stock up on stupid shit. If we're all gonna die, lay in some fun supplies: comics, lube, and Percocet; Whip-its; paper clips and dry-erase markers; nunchucks and throwing stars; Tiger Balm; scented lube; a giant neoprene harness that delivers morphine transdermally to every square inch of your skin; Pop-Tarts; no wait, make that unscented lube; Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola (the poor man's cyanide pill); 1 gross of condoms; binoculars for peeping at your sexy naked neighbor as she chokes to death on an invisible cloud of nerve gas; and actually forget the condoms because AIDS is the least of our worries now. Unless they explode a "dirty bomb" filled with AIDS blood! Oh shizzy! I heard that The Terrorists are gonna drop an AIDS bomb on us! AIDS BOMB!!
posted by Universal Donor 3:29 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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