Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  The weekend looms before me like a thousand-foot obelisk made of shit. Who can figure out fun stuff to do for TWO WHOLE DAYS? I have enough trouble entertaining myself for the five minutes it takes to smoke a cigarette. (Seriously, I won't leave the office for a smoke break unless I am absolutely positive that I have enough reading material to keep me sufficiently diverted. Like, if I only have 20 pages left in my book, I'll bring a second book downstairs with me just in case. It's fucking crazy.)
     Oh! I know! I'll go to a bar! That sounds like fun! A hundred cleverly-dressed nincompoops shouting themselves hoarse over the noise of a clever jukebox, crammed into a space that a veal calf would describe as "snug," shelling out stupid amounts of money for watery drinks and spreading their legs for whoever's within humping reach when the foxy bartender (who HATES HATES HATES you) bleats last call. Your story is very interesting, ma'am, could you please tell me more about your likes and dislikes? Because I'd like to get to know you better before I hammer this shot glass into your eye socket.
     DON'T YOU SEE THAT YOU ARE ALL ZOMBIES? You stagger from place to place, consciousness and creativity replaced by a single-minded drive for intoxicating sustenance. The only difference is that instead of moaning the word "brains," you say "I'm thinking about going to grad school." Your expensive shoes don't make you any less cheap. What do you want out of your life? I'm soooo sure you'll meet the boy/girl of your dreams at a BAR. The slurpy wet sounds of your frantic couplings make a nice counterpoint to the dirge of your terminal agonized loneliness.
     Um.
     It is possible that I could use a vacation. Somebody invite me to a wedding, quick.
posted by Universal Donor 3:25 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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