Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Who doesn't love New York cab drivers? Aside from being a rich vein of material for lazy writers of humorous observations, they, um... well, ok, they are just a rich material vein. I have run out of ideas.
      Two days ago, my cab driver told me a story about how he once got his cab up to 120mph after dropping off a fare at Floyd Bennett Field (a disused airport in South Brooklyn), swearing that it was about to take off, man, if it had wings it woulda gone pow! right into the air. I have no reason to doubt the capabilities of his souped-up former police cruiser, but it's always unnerving when your driver seems to be in a hurry to sit in god's lap, especially on the BQE, which is halfway there already, rife as it is with life-threatening potholes and ninja snipers.
     Yesterday my cab driver was the strong, silent, murderous type who acted like solid white lines had killed his daughter. Also, traffic signals apparently have laser beams in them that can only be avoided by hurtling through them fast enough to turn any pedestrians who get in the way into a fine mist of bloody meat. I wanted to ask him to chill out just a tiny bit, but when I looked in the rear-view, his eyes had this shine that said "don't say a fucking word to me or I will hate-fuck your nose-holes." So I just sat back and chuckled, thinking that he might be more comfortable around other obvious psychopaths.
     But who ever heard of a ninja sniper? Ninjas don't use guns. The very idea is ludicrous. The whole point of hiring a ninja to kill people is that they don't make any damn noise.
posted by Universal Donor 4:30 PM 1 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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