UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:



PAGES UD MADE:

My Books Page

My Reviews Page

My Reference Page

My Music Page

My Pictures

My Store



UD-RELATED PAGES:

My LiveJournal

My MySpace music page

My Flickr page

My del.icio.us page

My Last.fm page

My Amazon Wishlist




HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



Look the fuck out! It's claude le monde!



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Thursday, April 10, 2003
 
I am glad to hear that claudia has done her taxes already, because I have too, and now I have company in my club of smug, superior pedants. I know that some of you think that H&R Block is awesome, but they might as well be on the IRS's payroll for all the good they do you, the average retarded return-filer. What's your fucking problem, kids? Do you just hate money? Just send me your tax materials and a check for fifty bucks and I promise that you won't have to worry about your taxes for a while. Also please enclose a bottle of lighter fluid, some matches, a hatpin, and a lifelike voodoo doll of yourself. Also enclose a bag of your hot brains.
     It makes me ill that I have become a responsible adult. Wasn't I always the slovenly spacecase who couldn't finish anything? The weird guy, the oddball genius who never studied but got straight As and never used deodorant? The mumbly, scab-eating geek with fruit in his ass? Except not really about the fruit? Once upon a time I was considered crazy -- albeit mostly by extremely square outer-borough coworkers ("UD, mang, you crazy") whose liberal notion of "crazy" encompassed any behavior not witnessed in Julia Roberts movies, Everybody Loves Raymond, or whatever normative entertainments the fatally unhip put in front of their eyes from 6pm to midnight -- but nowadays I am, by all accounts, the sanest member of my giant spiraling galaxy of hypomedicated friends. I never asked for this. If intelligence, competence, and sanity are tax-deductible, my adjusted gross income is negative one billion.

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OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha




You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)


Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store








MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans