Universal Donor
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I guess the New York anti-smoking law went into effect yesterday at 12:01am, but I didn't really notice. As far as I'm concerned, the last reason to go to bars has been removed. Say what? You heard me: bars are for fools. Aside from the obvious economic absurdity of paying up to ten bucks for a mixed drink, you can't see or hear the people you are with. This may be a benefit for those of you whose friends are ugly and stupid, but I move in a realm of glittering, beautiful geniuses. For socializing, we prefer a floodlit auditorium with a circle of chairs around a giant, communal ashtray, and we've each got lapel mics wired into a high-quality PA manned by an experienced sound man. His name is Jimmy (or Pete) and he is not available for weddings.
     Smoking is bad, yes Dad, thank you for the absolute antithesis of a newsflash. Smokers know we are killing ourselves, we know that the weight of the butts that we've skillfully flicked into the gutter would collapse a major bridge. We know but we don't, can't care because a) we are addicted (which if you actaully don't understand what that means, you should, like, look it up or something, because it means we are addicted, you fat fuck!) and b) WE LOOK SO FUCKING COOL. Yes, shut up. We know we actually don't look so cool. And we smell terrible, oh we know! You should smell the genuine non-endangered coyote fur collar of my winter parka, it's like the smell of the Weaver/Moranis demon dogs at the end of Ghostbusters, which has got to be one of the best movies ever about anything, ever. Can you tell I haven't taken my Ritalin yet today? Well, cigarettes help me focus, Mr. Mayor, and you'd be doing the city a favor by reining in my aimless, unmedicated prattle by LETTING ME SMOKE ANYWHERE I WANT. I promise to make a generous donation to your assflesh.
      I have always been proud of this city's resistance to urban Californiafication. What the fuck is next? Right turns on red lights? Death before! Fuck!
posted by Universal Donor 2:28 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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