Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Is it against the rules to complain about not having enough to do at work? You'd think I'd appreciate the free time to write, fuck around on the internet, and create gorgeous works of artful beauty, but the more freedom I have, the more perversely unmotivated I get. It's like stolen time is more valuable than free time.
     I kept myself frantically busy during my vacation, trying really hard not to leave myself a moment to think. Those thinky moments are the worst. My parents always used to plan packed itineraries on our vacations, which I always thought were for the benefit of us kids, but now I see that they needed the blur of activity more than we did -- we would have been happy playing with hotel ice machines.
     At Disneyland, which was so gay that I burst into flames, parents dutifully dragged their rugrats around, draping them with merch and packing them full of sugar. (Hey, isn't it weird that there are no real animals at Disney, at all? Don't kids love animals, and aren't they the main characters of the Disney pantheon? Obviously the Disney cleanliness fetish doesn't allow for attractions that poo and pee, and in fact the bathrooms were so few, small, and piss-puddled that I kinda felt they were encouraging me to take my "business" elsewhere.) I barely had the energy to drag myself around the place, listlessly vectoring from one Designated Smoker's Ghetto to another -- and someday I'm supposed to bring my kids here? How will I possibly ever be that vivacious? I think all new parents are secretly issued a fifty-gallon drum of methamphetamine when they leave the hospital, to get them through the next eighteen years. Ugh. Disneyland is a giant pro-abortion ad. I didn't think I'd ever have sex again, but then I figured out how to fuck my computer. Then I designed an amusement park for adults, endlessly diverting and catering to all tastes, and I called it New York City. At least here, when I get tired, I can sit on the sidewalk and mumble to myself without some ankle-biter asking me if I'm supposed to be the pigeon lady from Mary Poppins.
posted by Universal Donor 4:00 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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