Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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feed it up! | UD email

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  No, I will not join Friendster. Please, everybody, stop inviting me to be your friendster. Isn't it enough that I'm already your friend? Don't we send emails to each other and gab on the phone for hours and have picnics and ride ponies and eat popsicles and beat up homeless people and go to the circus and watch sunsets and ride that fucking tandem bicycle up and down the street? Remember that day with the big red balloon? The one that was filled with pure Turkish heroin and almost exploded in your tummy as we went through the checkpoint? Wa ha ha! What fun! Who doesn't love that?
     So what I'm asking is: why do I need to join some questionable community of online weirdos? Or, aren't I already a member of too many such communities, unstructured as they may be? Oh, everyone's got their Friendster justifications, their excuses, their afterthought analyses that explain that they don't really take it seriously, doncha know, it's just kinda "funny" in a detached sort of way, if'n yer hep and all, y'know, like it's fun to make fun of the people who actually take it seriously -- for fun. Serious Fun. But seriously not all that serious. Like: "oh UD, I'm so many billions of metalevels removed from the standard stratum of Friendster Discourse that I can only really speculate about the mindset of 'real' Friendster users, in the way that a microbiologist might speculate about the political leanings of protozoa (giggle guffaw)." Not that anybody said that, but they kinda did, in a steaming packet of email invites from weirdos with too much time on their hands and obviously without EXTREMELY IMPORTANT BLOGS TO ATTEND TO.
     Not that I'm judging you or anything -- some people get their kicks by raping babies! Please enjoy Friendster until you get bored and give it up, which from past experience I can predict will happen... now. Ok, good. Hey! You should all join this cool online community called Fiendster, which is a site where zombies can hang out and meet each other. Except that zombies don't care about meeting each other, so the website is as empty as a junkyard banjo. Zombies only care about one thing, and it ain't your sexual preference, podner. Say it with me: braaaaiinnns.
posted by Universal Donor 2:37 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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