Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

---

feed it up! | UD email

- Archives - 04/01/2002 - 05/01/2002 05/01/2002 - 06/01/2002 06/01/2002 - 07/01/2002 07/01/2002 - 08/01/2002 08/01/2002 - 09/01/2002 09/01/2002 - 10/01/2002 10/01/2002 - 11/01/2002 11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002 12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003 01/01/2003 - 02/01/2003 02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003 03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003 04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003 05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003 06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003 07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003 08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009 08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009 04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010 09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010

---

You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

---

PAGES UD MADE:

---

My Books Page

---

My Reviews Page

---

My Reference Page

---

My Music Page

---

My Pictures

---

My Store

---

UD-RELATED PAGES:

---

My LiveJournal

---

My MySpace music page

---

My Flickr page

---

My del.icio.us page

---

My Last.fm page

---

My Amazon Wishlist

---

HEAVY ROTATION

---

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

---

BLOGS ETC

---

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

---

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

---

dead amusement pks
craters!

---

all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

---

Hosted by:
HostRocket.Com

Comments by:
YACCS

  SITE STATS



PRAISE & REVIEWS

---

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

---

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

---

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

---

Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

---

• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Spring makes me stupid. I've already started walking around for the hell of it, half-believing that I'm gonna start exercising on a regular basis, which I can already hear some of you falling out of your Aeron Chairs with helpless mirth. Exercise and me are like compassion and conservatism: fundamentally incompatible. But when the weather gets nice, my appetite disappears as my body tries frantically to shed my winter coat of fat, which must be some atavistic mating season preparation, right? Gotta slim down and make babies, fat little babies! Fuck. So even though I'm eating less, I feel a twitchy drive to stroll, and I get the itsiest little endorphin rush after dodging midtown lunchtime fuckwads for an hour, but I CANNOT EXERCISE. That's not excercise, says the bitch in the back with the Crunch membership card crumbling from disuse in her Kate Spade bag. Well, fuck you too, hooker, and go blow a frat boy. I don't want to sweat any more than necessary, because I hate having to shower more than once a week, and no amount of Matrix sequels will make me change my mind about that. I only like sex sweat and crystal meth overdose sweat.
     Spring makes me look in the mirror too much. Why do I have huge raccoony eye luggage? I got plenty of sleep this entire week (5 hours a night interrupted by frequent cigarette breaks is normal, right?), I ate a vegetable or two, and I even convinced an Irish dude that I was an angel. Though to be fair, the Irish guy was drunk and didn't take much convincing. I gave him a cigarette, which must have been the nicest thing anybody's ever done for the poor bloke, but I think he was hypnotized by my suit, which stood out in Williamsburg like a neon vagina in Utah. A weird Catholic response to the trappings of authority, maybe? He was old enough to know better, but he kept staring all googly-eyed, asking over and over again "but whar did ye coom froom?" And no matter what I said, he was convinced that I had said "heaven." If that's what being a cult leader feels like, I'm not sure I can hack it. Get lost, all of you.
posted by Universal Donor 3:10 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

---

You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

---

---

MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

---

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

---

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

---

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

---

PET PEEVES

---

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans

---