Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Ever since AudioGalaxy went supernova, it's been way too time-consuming to find the music that I need, and I do mean "need," because if some dumb part of my brain decides that I must must MUST listen to ELO's "Bluebird is Dead," I will not get any work done until Jeff Lynne pours strings into my ear from an IHOP syrup dispenser. In the future, everybody will have a button installed under the skin of their wrist that will play "Bluebird is Dead" whenever you press it, or whenever you think about pressing it, or if someone bumps into it on the train, or if you think about food, and especially if you think "goddamn I wish this treacly piece of crap would cease its endless parade through my head already before I start fisting cats."
     Which doesn't really bring me to my next point, which is: girls smell nice. Some better than others, of course, but I keep passing chicks on the street who smell like mashed-up apple orchards, Amaretto, or McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract. You will notice that, although the odors are nice, they're not really human odors. I am glad that they have chosen to mimic odors found in nature, and that they don't smell like Lysol, which is a terrible thing to lick off of someone's neck, but still: if I wanted to mack on an apple, I would move to that fruit-fucking commune I read about on alt.stupid.fucking.hippies. Or whatever!
     Which doesn't really bring me to my next point, which is: it's good when, if someone on the phone says "I'm sitting here with a girl who says she made out with you in the back of a cab a couple of times," you don't have to comb your brain too hard for possible candidates. Unless you aspire to that taxi-ho lifestyle, which you probably do, don't you? I'm looking at you, J.Ro. Happy Birthday.
     Which kinda actually does bring me to the point of tomorrow's post, which if I don't huff a lot of glue tonight will be: I have a very bad record when it comes to realizing that girls want to do dirty things with me and I have probably left in my wake a swath of confused ladies who gave me every "just kiss me now" signal short of wrapping their underpants around my face, only to have me obliviously smile at them and walk away, humming some stupid ELO tune or another. What the fuck.
posted by Universal Donor 4:23 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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