Universal Donor
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I am a New Yorker, and that is a large part of why I am so annoying. Of course it is also why I am so unassailably awesome. But while showing Confusing Wizard around the city last weekend, I caught myself starting way too many sentences with "See, New Yorkers don't blah blah blah" or ending sentences with "...that's what we [New Yorkers] do." All very self-consciously tongue-in-cheek, natch, but still: there it was. Like: "New Yorkers don't mind sitting on the sidewalk, because we don't have the luxury of hectares of municipally groomed grass to cushion our fannies," or "Don't worry about traffic lights: just cross the street wherever." Except of course I didn't say "hectares," "municipally groomed," or "cushion," or "fannies."
     The point is: I gotta shut up already. I am trapped here, and like any prisoner, I am trying to make the best of it, trying to justify my position as a matter of personal choice. And though it's true that it's not as pathetic as a guy in Myfuckhole, Ohio saying "Man, we got ever'thing a person could want, right here in Myfuckhole!" or blubber-encased pastel church lady from Gorgor, Wisconsin describing her hamlet as a "little corner of heaven!" GOD! Listen to me! Does anybody actually say shit like that? They can't possibly. On this issue, I am trapped between my New Yorker's condescension for ANYBODY that doesn't live here and my New Yorker's reflexive questioning of all received wisdom (aside: I suck). People don't talk like that anywhere, right? Then again, people do believe in Jesus, so there ya go.
     I can never leave, because I need a bodega in walking distance EVERY MOMENT OF MY LIFE, in case I feel a 2am need to shout through bulletproof plexi at a guy who is trying to translate my English words and Western hand gestures into whatever means "Camel" his local Tajikistani dialect -- or maybe it's "filters" or "hard pack" that he's having trouble with. Also I need to live in a place that comprehends the concept of "walking distance." But mostly, I need to know that when I spit on the ground, there is a chance I am making it cleaner.
     Because I spit a lot.
posted by Universal Donor 2:44 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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