Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I just saw a messenger resplendent in shining orange, dressed from top to toe in gear from kozmo.com. It was nice to see somebody who aspires to be a walking brand, and in a far more sincere way than your typical logo-sporting consumer everyman: kozmo shirt, kozmo helmet, kozmo messenger bag, kozmo shorts (who knew?), and orange fucking socks -- these last items not being standard kozmo issue, but purchased separately to complete the ensemble. Fine! I applaud the unflinching devotion to your employer, fashion-forward kozmo guy!
     Except see here's the thing about kozmo.com: they went out of business in April 2001. Oh yeah.
     I know, see, because I was there when they called us into the conference room and said in solemn tones "as of noon today, kozmo has ceased all operations, so burn all your mp3s onto CD, grab as much equipment as you hide in your backpack, and try not to stab the executives on your way out, or actually do try to stab them, because they are vampires. Go for the heart: here's a stake, it's nice and sharp. Buh-bye!" I was there, bwah. I did that. I even got the t-shirt. But I don't actually wear it. Not in public. It's like a laundry-day, hangin'-in-th'-hizzle-in-a-bathing-sizzle-and-muhfuckin'-dress-socks-cuz-errthing-else-be-dirrty kinda shirt. Dig?
     So kozmo got flung over the handlebars in a head-on collision with reality, which states that while people may be too lazy to go to the video store, and willing to pay for delivery, they will probably not be ordering more than $14 worth of movies every day -- unless they are Guinness-book fat or pants-shittingly agoraphobic -- and that Ben Affleck's porno rentals alone can't keep a struggling startup afloat.
     Since then, I have seen messenger after messenger wearing the trademark orange kozmo gear, especially the messenger bag. How pathetic is this? If they are former employees who can't quite let go (or are trying to benefit from some imagined residual cachet), that's bad enough. But I suspect they are weird-ass fans of the terrible, dead company I used to work for, ghoulishly collecting paraphernalia to make a Buffalo Bill-style "kozmo suit." Oh god! It puts the videotape into the basket!
posted by Universal Donor 3:25 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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