Universal Donor
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I don't know how long this link will remain live, but for the moment I will use Alyssa Milano to illustrate everything I hate about Los Angeles. Don't worry, if the link goes dead, it will only take me a few picoseconds to locate another illustration.
     Yes, look at her, seen here in a film still from Dickie Whatever Blah Child Whatever. Whateverr. Tan, thin, disproportionate boobs, irritatingly clichéd tattoo on her wrist, and a FUCKING COWBOY HAT. I can't see her hoop earrings, but I can guarantee they're close by, probably in that giant circular suitcase -- her giant hoop earring suitcase, right? This is Milano as Sheryl Crow, by which I mean one facet of the L.A. Woman trichotomy: Sheryl, Marilyn, and... oh, I don't know. Maybe David Geffen. There are only Maidens and Mothers, because no Crones are allowed, but Sheryl Crow(ne) is the closest you get: leathery, world-weary, hungover, and STILL gonna fall for every drunken scumbag with a pair of shades and a car. WHICH IS EVERYBODY.
     There are only two things L.A. has over, oh let's say New York: 1) sweat evaporates faster, and 2) In 'N' Out Burger. That's it. Therefore, everyone in L.A. is an idiot. Actors are stupid! Stupid and ignorant! Oh!
     Viz last night we caught this new show called The Joe Schmo Show which is fucking genius squared, especially if you're a fan of Survivor, which, yes, shut up, but I am. Shut it. TJSS is fake, and all for the benefit of this one guy, and even though the fake "contestants" are supposed to represent these diverse reality show types from all over America (schemer, asshole, bitch), they are all still Los Angeles fucktards. Talking earnestly about how hard it is to fool an idiot all the time. Talking about their "craft!" Not kidding! Glaaargle Fuck! Take your craft and wrap it around Hollywood's fat johnson, you airbrushed nincompoops! Thalia and Melpomene are not skin-care products! Why doesn't anyone ever acknowledge that "hummer" is slang for a blowjob? Everyone knows this! AAARGH.
     ALSO: Will somebody please send me a pithy quote about the unbridgeable gulf between ideation and execution? Because this post, like every other one, existed in my head as a coherent, Swiftian romp, and then look what happened:a fetid puddle of rambling, ADDlebrained garbage.
posted by Universal Donor 3:00 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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