UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
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Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Not that you care, you cold-hearted selfish pleasure-seekers, but I am In The Shit. After a week and a half of assiduous searching for a roommate to fill Pussy Willow's soon-to-be-vacant room, our plans, which seemed so solid, have crumpled like rotting flesh off a zombie's face. People, it seems, can be flaky. Maybe my mistake was only posting the listing on craigslist, on the assumption that it would attract like-minded people. Heh. I guess it worked, because in general the applicants seem to be lazy, bored, and attention-deficient. Fate has a sense of humor. Fuck.
First of all, we ignored all inquiries from men, because as I have stated before, I don't like men at all (the exceptions being of course any men who read this site -- you are obviously chicks at heart; deal with it). Living with all boys is a situation that has historically made me uncomfortable, to the extent that in college I moved out of my all-male quad and into the room next door, where I shared a twin bed with a sympathetic girl for the duration of the semester. Girls rock. Without a girl in the house, the hormone balance just gets fucked up. So anyway, we interviewed several women who seemed, from their emails, less than completely insane. This severe winnowing process meant we saw about four people total, because there were serveral no-shows. Fuck shit! But last night we offered the place to a perfectly nice girl who really wanted to live with us. I know this because she said so, repeatedly, in emails and phone calls. She was therefore glad to hear that the place was hers if she wanted it. Yay. All sewn up. Time for a beer, or whatever. But no, no, wait! Because two hours later she calls with a story about a furious sometime-S.O. who wanted them to live together, and so blah blah, you know, no go. And blah blah shut up come on now i mean COME ON NOW PEOPLE. What does a man have to do? Sacrifice live goats? Bribe the Maître d'? Ask for help? I am not ready for another week of this uncertainty and stress. Send someone tolerable my way. 0 comments |
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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |