Universal Donor
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Working backwards from right now:
     ITEM! I'm in Venice, CA again, only this time there is megadecibel shouting at the television courtesy of Raekool, who is angry at an obviously pro-Sox umpire who keeps calling Oakland-flung strikes balls. "OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE FUCK!" is the sensible response to such atrocities, bellowed at Bud-fueled, glass-shattering volume. It's good to be back. Out on Lincoln Boulevard (my favorite flavor of thoroughfare) there was a sign that said STEEL PLATES ON ROADWAY and it occurred to me that the residents of Los Angeles have never seen a RAISE PLOW sign, which accompanies plate warnings in more temperate climes. These freaks would flip their shit if they saw one, because, dude, what's a plow, brah?
     ITEM! The $40 SF to LA shuttle bus service bus had only seven passengers, including me and J.Ro, which says to me that they are operating at a significant loss, which is too bad because the craigslist rideshare scheme was a total flop, the only responders being a reticent gender-inspecific "Shelly" who kept flaketuating on the travel date and a timewarp hippie chick who apologized in advance for the state of her "shibby" van. So no thanks, kids. The bus was fine because I got the triple back seat by the lav, which gave me leg-stretching space and a chance to watch the same dude use the facilities six times, the last of which I wanted to be like "dude either you've got some serious intestinal distress or a seriously intense drug habit, and if it's the former I'm sorry but if it's the latter, dude, why don't you spread it around?" Heh. Or vice versa. But when I snuck a cigarette in the terlet, I detected a tangy odor from the sloshing fecal slurry that bespoke the presence of nasty GI parasites or something. Otherwise, the featureless scrub plains of midCalifornia slid by like hot butter in a skillet.
     ITEM! San Francisco has a lot of dirty crazy people who do not want music videos to be shot without extemporaneous editorials and unsolicited advice. Hey Toothless: there are artists at work here. Howbout you quit asking the robot questions and get out of the fucking shot? No, it is not a real robot. Yes, there is really a person in there. No, you should not punch the robot to make sure. NO WE DO NOT HAVE A SPARE CINCUENTA CENTAVOS FOR YOUR "BART TICKET," AND YOUR FORTIFIED-WINE HALLUCINATIONS OF RAPID TRANSIT ARE NOT THE SAME AS AN ACTUAL TRAIN RIDE. God DAMN.
posted by Universal Donor 8:59 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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