Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I don't want to wash my hair, but I don't want my hair to smell like smoky boy-head, either. Girls, are you not repulsed by the smell of boy? I am constantly revolted by the boysmell of my apartment, which smacks me in the face like a duellist's glove every time I walk in the door -- and my nose doesn't really work anymore (because I smoke too much, and because I donated the mucus membranes in my nasal passages to Paris Hilton, who burned her own away long ago), so it must be exponentially more revolting to normal people. The new roommate, who is awesome but still has no moniker, is not the type of girl who uses flowery soaps or pectin-scented shampoos, so I predict that soon we will have to acknowledge our fourth roommate: the Odious Fetor (aka "da O.F."). Except that sounds kinda nancified, so let's just call it The Stank and leave it at that.
     I don't want to wash my hair because I look like one of the Monkees when I do, all poofy and clean and ready for primetime. Yuck. Plus I love having zits on my forehead. Gah.
     I believe that unwashed hair will regulate its oil content, probably because some hippie told me so. Hate the messenger, love the message -- I can embrace my enemies' philosophies if they're convenient. I'm flexible. But now I'm thinking that this belief is rather like the republican theory that unregulated oil companies will regulate themselves, which is obviously a stupid fairy tale that no one with a spoonful of brains believes, and especially not the people who say it the loudest.
     The truth is that I am pitiably susceptible to vogueish hipster memes, and dirty hair is everywhere. How do they do it, these greasy rockers? Do their pillowcases, like mine, look like they've been used to serve bacon? Can one whiff of their wooly hats paralyze a hobo? Nah, those poseurs probably use product, which is a word that makes me gag like a force-fed foster child on the day before the lady from the agency comes to call. Unbuckle me from this rollercoaster of fashion, please, while it's at the top of its arc. Why won't God strike me bald, so I won't have to worry about it?
posted by Universal Donor 4:11 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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