Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
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• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  The lady on the phone just said "happy holidays!" to me, which gives me the willies already without the added twist: why the non-denominational holiday wish for Thanksgiving? Like maybe I celebrate some alternate Jewish version where we thank God for saving us from the ignominy of foreskins? Customer service people have gotten hypersensitive to the point of non sequitur. When I sneezed the lady said "may your higher power bless you, or do whatever your higher power (or powers) do in the event of a sneeze, unless you are an atheist, in which case I sincerely hope you aren't getting a cold." I was so scared that I smashed the receiver through the front of my monitor and sprayed the sparking mess with Lysol until the can ran out.
     Still, the empty phrase puts me in the mind of hideously awkward gatherings of people, and oh god the stupid fucking ten-year high school reunion is this weekend, and Jackie is pouring the guilt on like hot razor juice, begging me to go with her, because otherwise "it won't be any fun." Whaaa? The fuck? We see each other every wiggidy week. WHY WOULD YOU GO IF IT WOULDN'T BE FUN WITHOUT ME? But she managed to soak her parents for the $70, so her logic goes: if you have ten drinks it's a fair deal. I'm like: dood, I don't drink, and since I don't want to see most of these people anyway, I definitely don't want to see them in a compressed 4-hour marathon to drink the ticket price in cheap hooch at what looks to be the tackiest restaurant in New York. Oh god.
     Or do I? It could be fun, especially because I'm pretty sure I won't see them again for ten years, and I could do or say just about anything. I could grope people, vomit on the dance floor, or fill my pockets with silverware. No. I think I shall play Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time in my underpants all weekend. Look! I have a sword! I'm a magical, acrobatic prince!
     I may muse further on the reunion tomorrow, but after that I will not post until next Monday. I should have something frothy for you by then. Happy Thanksfortakingmyforeskin!
posted by Universal Donor 3:52 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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