Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Lunchtime in midtown during the Christmas season is like a cold, ambulatory version of hell, a rainbow of pashmina and trenchcoats. You never feel more like lashing out in a spastic flurry of fists and kicks than that moment on the sidewalk when you need to shout "GAH FUCK WILL YOU FUCKING MOVE ALREADY!" at some ovine claque of midwesterners acting like a garland-bedecked streetlamp is a fucking wonder of the world. My boss came back from a lunchtime shopping trip looking like an Afghani refugee with all her possessions in bags and the thousand-yard stare of a frustrated consumer. Apparently other people had the shopping urge at the same time, go figure.
     I just had a relatively painless experience at the bookstore, which was mercifully, if depressingly, empty. People don't like books as much as they like gilt-coated plastic elf dildos, or bobble-head reindeer. Or chocolate-covered machetes! Nog stockings! MOVE IT, GRANNY WISCONSON! I bought my books and felt very smug about my literacy until I saw a copy of FHM, at which point I coated the front of my parka with vomit. FHM has a way of convincing semi-reputable actor-types to wear the most retarded garments made of shredded ribbon or whatever, and also of making that Buffy girl look like a zombie horse. I hate men's magazines almost as much as I hate men.
     But I like Christmas because I like buying things. Spending money is not something I was indoctrinated to do -- I've always been very good at it. Chanukah is okay, but even the semi-clever eight day scheme can't make up for the essential shabbiness of the holiday in comparison to Christmas. I walked past a gound-floor retail space that's been empty for months, and they had begun to set up some kind of event-space called "Chanukah House," with giant menorahs and some flatscreen displays (wha?) and a truly awful series of rotating dioramas depicting... who knows? Nobody knows what Chanukah is a commemoration of. A war maybe? A visitation by aliens? God's decision to make one side of my family much better at Monopoly than the other? There are no coniferous trees in the holy land. How sad is that?
posted by Universal Donor 4:26 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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