Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I can smell the McDonald's food that my coworker's eating for lunch, and I think it's a good sign, survival-wise, that I feel like hurling up the cocktail of bile, water, Tums, and multivitamins that currently inhabit my stomach. I react to the smell of McD's like a farmer from an unspoiled idyll reacts to the smell of Gary, Indiana or Elizabeth, NJ. This is one of the very few survival instincts that my body can manage to remember, and it's a good thing, too. If I ate fast food I'd be one slothful dying hockey puck of a hermit, telecommuting myself into the grave through a haze of muscle relaxants. As if it weren't bad enough to eat the stuff, my coworker got her food delivered. Oofah. Like, if you can't even walk to the store, dude? Definitely don't eat the food, because soon you won't have the energy for anything more strenuous than harvesting your toejam. Do you think a lot of suicides are prevented by people being just too depressed to get off the couch long enough to guzzle a handful of Xanax and vodka? Or like too lazy to go to the store for the rat poison?
     I learned a lot about Cricket from the BBC's "Sport" site. I am not entirely recommending that you do the same, but there's the link, if you like. It feels very strange to immerse yourself, if only for a moment, in something completely foreign that has such a long history and means so much to the British and some of their former colonial holdings. But then, I guess, you could say the same for any culture's traditions, yah? That maybe the problem with the world is that people don't take enough time to learn about other peoples' traditions (and therefore their humanity etc) blah blah blah sensitivitycakes. Except maybe most traditions don't involve quite so much highly specialized padding. Are you sensitive to Japan's national culture of sex with video game characters? Get sensitive.
     I wish there were some new music to get excited about. I'm excited, against my better judgment, about the Dawn of the Dead remake that's coming out soon. How you gonna remake the best zombie movie ever, right? But the previews look pretty fucking good, and some of the zombies seem to move very fast, Dan O'Bannon-style, which is just fine with me. If you've read the Fear Not Guide to Life, you know that my theory of zombie mobility has to do with undecayed muscle mass, so the most recently-risen fiends have no particular reason to stumble around clumsily. Makes them that much harder to kill, but it's best if you're not surprised by a speedy brain-muncher. Another argument against the fast food: high cholesterol slows your zombie-killing reflexes. Therefore, fast food is a crime against humanity! Boycott Big Macs! Save the species!
posted by Universal Donor 5:43 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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